BUT IT’S VERY, VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! DON’T TRY IT AT HOME!
* can confirm. once, when i was a kid… i thought i could keep spare change in there. papyrus had to hold me upside down and shake me out to get it loose. everyone thought he was trying to steal my lunch money, and my eyes were sore for days afterwards. it was NOT my brightest moment.
AW, SANS! THAT’S MY FAVORITE EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD STORY ABOUT YOU TO TELL OTHER PEOPLE! YOU SPOILED IT!
* well, you’ve got tons of other stories now, right? it’s not like i stopped being embarrassing.
More fuel for the ‘humans are the weird ones’ fire: We are arbitrarily frightened of creatures which can’t possibly hope to hurt us.
When a human crewmate begins howling fearfully after a routine stop on Terra, designated guards can’t get there fast enough. What sort of horrifying beast capable of frightening the all-consuming, self-poisoning, oxygen-breathing HUMAN could have possibly made it past security protocols?!
And it turns out it’s a cricket.
“Is it venomous?! Is it flesh-eating?! Does it spray some sort of biological agent that eats away at your neural pathways?!”
“No, it’s just CREEPY! It landed ON MY NECK!! Someone get rid of it!!”
Once the aliens understand the phenomenon of ‘creepy’, they’re even more confused. What makes it creepy? Why, in its innocence of living, does the lowly cricket inspire fear? It’s so underdeveloped by Terran standards; it doesn’t even have the mental complexity needed to experience pain!
And let’s not forget that these fears aren’t universal. Some of us are not only indifferent to the presence of ‘creepy’ animals, we actively seek to surround ourselves with them.
“Human-Jacob, why do you seek the assistance of Human-Vanessa when you find a Terran snake? Can you not hunt it yourself?”
“Oh, hell no. I’m not touching those things.”
“Is Human-Vanessa a predatory subspecies? Is that what enables her to capture them more efficiently?”
“why can’t female heroes kick arse in heels” because it’s not practical and will literally snap your damn ankle you can scream weaponised femininity all you want but first off, you need to admit that they’re not an almighty symbol of empowerment, and secondly that if you do a job with a lot of physical activity in heels you’re risking your own safety. all these women fighting in heels on tv are going to end up seriously injuring themselves.
weaponised femininity is a concept made up in an attempt to get us to embrace the industries created to hold us back/profit from our insecurities so that we can continue to fit into the male expectation of what a woman should be and not question why we are forced to spend thousands on our appearance every year
just a small anecdote. I had a friend who worked in theater; she was the stage manager and an actress came to her in tears one day because the director absolutely refused to let her do a choreographed fight scene in less than 3 inch heels because “they’re platforms so you’ll be okay.” My friend, who is a woman’s size 10, brought her own heels in the next day and DEMANDED the director put them on and try the choreography before the actress did it. He finally agreed to change it, without putting the heels on.
so like I know you might think of “all those women on tv fighting in heels” as fictional woman who WOULD hurt themselves in real life, but its fiction so its okay…except those women are portrayed by real actresses who are actually fighting in actual heels, being directed by dudes who have never worn a pair of heels in their lives, alongside men who aren’t expected to constantly wear things that make their stunts 2x more dangerous than they have to be. Just a thought.
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